Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Sister, this blog's for you

A letter of encouragement to my sister, going on her 11th day as a first time mother.

Where do I begin? You can do it! (How's that for encouragement?) Being a mother is the hardest, most awesome and rewarding job you will ever have. I know that you are feeling overwhelmed right now by all the emotions and hormones and the monumental cataclysm that is becoming a mother. Let's review the past 11 days, shall we?

First, you labored and gave birth. Read those words again: gave birth. You and DH brought a whole new human being into this world. He is adorable and perfect. But he is a lump. He is a newborn and all newborns know how to do is eat, sleep, mess up his diaper, spit up, and eat some more. But goodness, he is a beautiful lump.

I remember when we brought Miss H home from the hospital, Mr. Rose and I just looked at each other with a "What now?" question on our face. We had our struggles getting established nursing, she had jaundice and wouldn't poo, she cried, we let her sleep on our chests. It was HARD.

And then he went back to work. I was with her by myself all day. I felt isolated and alone. I didn't have many friends in Little Town, NC. It was HARD.

I wanted to go back to work, but it just wasn't an option. The job that I loved  (and was good at I might add!) was too far of a drive and required regular amounts of travel. Not being able to go back, it hurt. I felt like I lost a piece of myself by not working. It was HARD.

Before I knew it, Miss H wasn't a newborn lump anymore. It was like I blinked and she was big all of a sudden. She was stuffing her face with birthday cake and walking and saying "cat." I had been with her every day for twelve months and I felt like I missed the entire thing. Time moves so slowly, and yet is speeds by at lightening pace. I wished I could go back to the beginning. Go back to the newborn lump phase, and soak it all in. It was HARD.

I was an accidental stay at home Mom. I never planned to be one. I ALWAYS thought that I would go back to work. When we moved to Suburb town, FL, I threw the idea around of getting a job. But my heart wasn't in it. And then I was pregnant again anyway.

My point is, you never know how you are going to feel until you are actually in the situation. Some mothers absolutely know that they want to go back to work and do, others absolutely know that they want to stay home. For some, they don't always get what they want.

In the end, you must do what feels right. Regardless of what you decide, no one can take away the fact that you are little PK's Mommy. I have asked some of my bloggy friends to link up some of their posts about becoming a mother here. I hope you find more encouragement and insight. Becoming a mother is hard. Everyone deals with it differently. You will find your groove. Don't forget to pray for guidance.

I love you sweetie.

Your best friend,



Kmama said...

Congratulations to your sister on her new little "lump". ;-)

Shell said...

What an encouraging letter! I'll have to see if I can find an old post to link up or write a new one tomorrow.

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

Beautifully said to her! That captured it perfectly!

Florida Girl Meets the Midwest said...

I am anxious about being a mom one day. This post helped me put a few more things into perspective.

Stopping by from pour your heart out.

nathat9 said...

How funny Erin...I always thought I would be a stay at home mom and here I am working....exactly the opposite of you! What a nice reminder that our lives dont always take the route we expect, but they always seem to put us exactly where we are supposed to be.

Mothers' Hideaway said...

This is a great post. I hope to write such a loving letter to my sister when she has a baby some day. <3 Aren't sister's the best?

Chelle said...

A big congrats to your sister! Being a mom is one of the hardest things ever, but the rewards are so, so worth it.


blueviolet said...

Your love and concern for your sister is incredibly touching. I know she must truly appreciate this. She will find her way, and whether it's the same as yours matters not. She'll do what's best for her family, and I hope she doesn't stress too much over it.

I thought I would go back to work too, but I quit the day before my return after maternity leave. I just couldn't do it. I'm still home 22 years later.

Marketing Mama said...

Muah! I heart you too my friend. Give your sis my best. Let's catch up soon.

Cheryl said...

This is simply beautiful.

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Debbie said...

Oh heavens. What a wonderful and difficult time for her. Congrats to your entire family on the new arrival.
For a very different perspective, she could read my post today on taking my kids to college:(