Wednesday, May 26, 2010

PYHO: Mommy I want blue eyes like you


My beautiful girl Miss H looks exactly like, and I'm talking spitting image here, her Daddy. Ever since she was born, people have told me how much she looks like him. I tried to fight it for awhile. "Look, she has my chin," I'd say. Finally, when her dark blue baby eyes turned into the chesnut brown of my husband, I threw in the towel. She is definitely his daughter.


Goodness is she beautiful. She has a smile that lights up a room. Her eyes twinkle with the happiness that exudes from her.

Then it happened. A few months ago, she really started understanding her colors. She would look at my eyes and say, "Mommy, your eyes are blue. My eyes are brown." She began pointing out the color of everyone's eyes. While we were staying at my parent's house, she was surrounded by blue eyed people - we all have blue eyes in my family. Now it seems that Baby B's eyes are a miraculously beautiful shade of blue.


Last week, Miss H was staring at herself in the mirror. She came out to the living room with a pout on her face. When I asked her what was wrong, she said, "I don't want brown eyes. I want to have BLUE EYES like YOU!"

I knew this day would come. I grew up wishing my nose was smaller, my thighs were skinnier, my boobs were bigger, and my hair was prettier. But I didn't begin to have those self image issues until my pre-teen years.

How is it that my three year old wants to be different already? Is this a body image issue? Or is this just that she wants to be more like Mommy?

I keep telling her that God makes everybody different and that He wanted her to have beautiful brown eyes like her Daddy. The other night she said to me during prayers, "Mommy, I want to ask Jesus why he gave me brown eyes." *SOB*

I really don't know how to deal with this. I thought she would let it go, but everyday now she tells me she wants blue eyes. I don't want her to have a self image complex as a preschooler. Any thoughts and advice would be appreciated.



Oka said...

I use to exaggerate the beautiful eye colors my kids had by playing I Spy.

It would get them to repeat "I SPY WITH MY BIG BEAUTIFUL (insert color here) EYES, something..." Yes we exaggerated that statement with heavy emphasis on the first part. I think helping them repeat that over and over helped them to believe their eyes were beautiful. FYI, I made my turn short and quick so we could focus back on them and that statement.

Jenny said...

Such a sweetheart. I am not sure how I would approach this since my little guy is only 2.
It does sound like you handled the right way though.

Marketing Mama said...

Good morning my dear! I wrote about your dilemma on my site in hopes that you get some good advice.

I totally empathize with you and hope that it's just a little phase and in a few weeks, Miss H LOVES her beautiful brown eyes.

Hopefully she is in a stage where she wants to be like mommy....and the next stage, she'll want to be more like daddy or a teacher or a friend. That'll be a different challenge altogether :)

Good luck my friend! And call or email if you need to vent.

Shell said...

Aw, your poor little girl! She is absolutely gorgeous!

Wish I had some words of wisdom on how to deal with this, but I don't. :(

Kmama said...

Oh my goodness. She sure is perceptive, isn't she??

I would tell her about all the good things about having brown eyes. Tell her that she is beautiful no matter what color her eyes are. Tell her that it makes her daddy so happy that he could share his eyes with her.

Good luck!

Marketing Mama said...

oooh a friend just suggested you play Brown Eyed Girl for her and tell her there isn't a song for blue eyed girls.

We live in a Zoo! said...

I'd say, tell your husband he has beautiful eyes (all the time) and be sure she hears you telling him this. Most people comment on others blue eyes, but if you are commenting on brown, perhaps she'll get the message. I hope she does because she does have beautiful eyes!

Heather said...

When I was little I wanted my mom's bright blue, almost violet eyes. So occasionally I would trade...pretending to take hers out and switch with mine.
She would always say, "I've always wanted green eyes. People with green eyes are so spunky!"
So hearing her say she wanted them for a day was nice.

Maybe y'all could start pointing out all the pretty things around that are chocolate!!

Beth said...

She is precious! I think you're handling it right and it probably is just wanting to be more like Mama. Wishing you well!

Anonymous said...

Ohh, she is so cute. :) I agree with what people have said. Just excentuate how pretty her eyes are and that she got them from her daddy and how excited he is to share them with her. Good luck!

Laurel said...

When I was her age, I wanted desperately to be blonde like all the princesses in the books I read and the movies I watched. I was finally kind of happy with being a redhead when I saw "The Little Mermaid" but I don't think I was entirely accepting, content, and actually pretty excited about it until high school.

I hope her desire for blue eyes is more a reflection of her love and admiration for you than her desire to actually be different than she is. Even if it is, though, just remind her that she's beautiful. One of my best friends has brown eyes and I always compare them to melting chocolate and fresh spring dirt, both of which I think have a rich, beautiful color.