Thursday, April 7, 2011

Finding peace in the sacrifice

She's crying. Why, oh why is she crying? She's only been asleep for 30 minutes. That is not enough of a nap for a 20 month old. I'll go in to check on her, lay her back down, and walk out.

There. She's quiet. Hold your breath so she doesn't wake up again. Shush the four year old who only wants a drink.

NO! NO! NO! NO! She CAN NOT be crying again. It's only been five minutes since the last time I went in there. I have things I need to be doing. Ugh. What is going on with this child? Maybe she's just done sleeping. I'll pick her up this time.

Rock, shhh, rock, shh, rock, shh.

She's falling back asleep. Don't look her in the eyes or she might wake up. Look at her sideways to see her little eyelids flittering closed.

Focus on the cross on the wall. The Cross. The symbol of the ultimate sacrifice. What have I sacrificed lately?

Look at that. She's asleep in my arms. We are rocking and I am getting sleepy. Feeling the soft warmth of her breath on my skin and I am drifting off.

Peace.

I guess she just needed her Mama. I guess I just needed her too. We cuddle and sleep for nearly 45 minutes. In the end, I sacrificed a few minutes of my day to help her rest, but really, it was no sacrifice at all.


Simple BPM

13 comments:

Liz said...

Awwww! Especially when we know they won't be of cuddle size forever! :)

This Heavenly Life said...

So, so sweet :) I know this sacrifice well, and you're right -- sometimes we both need it and it ends up being the easiest thing in the world to offer.

Thank you for sharing this peaceful post today!

KLZ said...

Don't look her in the eyes!

It's amazing how frightening the idea of looking your child in the eyes can be sometimes.

Now I'm ready for a nap with Alex.

Alita said...

It really isn't too bad- this sacrifice that we make, right ;) I would have it not other way.

Hyacynth said...

Erin, this is so lovely. I'm sure in years you won't remember what you needed to get done but you'll remember snuggling her like that. Just beautiful. What a great capture from your week.
{Also, I've had so many of these frustrating nap-sleep-related moments ... wish I could go back and tell my younger self what I know now.}

blueviolet said...

The fact that you remember this so vividly shows how much that tender moment meant to you. I heart your mama style, Erin!

Lenae said...

Oh, this is great! How often do we forget that we need these little people just as much as they need us? That they are just as capable of teaching our hearts as we are in molding theirs? Thanks for the reminder that the sacrifice is always worth it.

Kristi said...

I loved how sweet this is and how you saw that you both needed each other. Those cuddles are the best...and even better if you get to nap together! :)
It was the perfect thing for me to read before I go to sleep.
Be blessed~

Melissa said...

So sweet, and so similar to mine! It's so hard to give in sometimes when there is so much looming that you need to do...but I;m learning (slowly) that I need to..we all feel better when I do.

Robin said...

Oh, how I cherish the together naps. They are few and far between these days for me, I guess making them more special. Glad you found time together to comfort one another.

And I so remember the "don't look at them in the eyes!" If you did, they would ping back up in complete awakeness (is that a word?). Sigh.

Jade said...

Very sweet!

Amanda @ It's Blogworthy said...

this is so precious! I do the same thing with my little guy. Sometimes I have to stop and appreciate what I'm doing when he won't nap or go to sleep!

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