Monday, April 4, 2011

Wise words from my Mom

I am, and always have been, a worrier. I get really stressed out about everything. When I became a mom, I did not know how much I was capable of worrying.

When we first brought Miss H home from the hospital, I worried that she wasn't eating enough. She was sent home from the NICU with specific instructions about how much she needed to be eating. I kept a chart of how many minutes she nursed, how many ounces she drank from her bottles, and how many wet and soiled diapers she had. When I wasn't sure of myself, I pulled out my copy of "A Nursing Mother's Companion".

As she grew, I worried about her sleeping habits and patterns. Was she sleeping enough and at the right times? Why wouldn't she sleep through the night? I charted her sleepy times and the times and lengths of her naps. When I wasn't sure of myself, I pulled out my copy of Dr. Sears' "Baby Sleep Book".

Over her four years I have worried about her health and development, and have routinely turned to a multitude of books for answers and help. My bookshelves are overflowing with books by doctors, nurses, and social workers.

A couple of weeks ago, I called my Mom. I was freaking out about Miss H not being able to hop on one leg. Not that she was injured, she just can't do it. My mom came back to me with the best advice about being a mother ever: throw the books away and just RELAX.

Now that is an interesting concept. Relax and trust that you know what is right for your children. Miss H is otherwise happy and healthy, why should it matter that she can't hop on one leg? Lil' B won't sleep for longer than an hour in the afternoon; maybe that is just her natural rhythm.

While it may be difficult for me to physically throw those books away, my Mom made a great point. How often do we as mothers question and second guess ourselves? How often do we compare our children to the children of others and wonder if our child is "normal?"

Trying to relax is now going to become my new goal thanks to that sage advice from my Mom. This year I am trying to plan my Mother's Day gift for her a little early because the month of April is going to be incredibly busy for us. I am terrible at picking out cards, but Tiny Prints is going to make choosing and sending Mother's Day cards easy-peasy. They have the cutest greeting cards for every kind of mom - from your Grandmother to your Mother-in-law.

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A big thank you to Tiny Prints for sponsoring this post and to Global Influence for providing the opportunity. I was compensated with a $50 gift from Tiny Prints in exchange for this post.

4 comments:

Kmama said...

When Buddy was a year old, we were at his well check and I told the doctor that I was concerned because he couldn't clap. I mean, don't babies learn to clap at something like 6 months?? He had never clapped. As I explained my concerns to the doctor, Buddy got up and ran across the room and was jumping up and down, trying to reach something. The doctor looked at me and laughed and said, "I think he'll be just fine."

It's hard not to worry about something though. We want our kids to be perfect!

blueviolet said...

I try to remember that it takes kids on both sides of the spectrum to create those averages, but I know it's hard to compare.

I'm glad your mom is so sage and supportive!

Liz said...

Oooh, the books and what's normal! It's one of those things that is both good and bad at the same time.

KLZ said...

You're talking to a woman who has been worrying about the earth being destroyed because her husband was watching 2012.

I don't have a book to reference for that BTW.