My least favorite "Mom Job"

Being a mother is full of ups and downs, joys and frustrations. We've all been there when the highs are really high, like seeing your daughter swim by herself for the first time, and the lows are really low, like when you have a baby in the NICU.

Some aspects of this job come with the territory: changing diapers, doing laundry, preparing meals. While none of these are particularly "fun," I don't really mind doing them. They are just part of the job.

With any job there are always some tasks that one would consider less than desirable. One might even go so far as to say despise. When I was working (outside the home,) it was putting together my time sheet. I never remembered to do it, so I usually had to go back and fill it out for the entire month the day that it was due, and most of the time I just guestimated. (Jess T and Erin L better shush!)

I love being a stay at home Mom, and I wouldn't give it up for the world. But there are some things about this "job" that I really just cannot stand. Here are the top three:

3. Bathtime - I know, I know! Bathtime should be so much fun with the splashing and the cute little giggles. Not so much for me. I am all business at bathtime: wash the hair, wash the body, and get out. My little ones would stay in the bathtub all day if I let them, so it is inevitably a fight each an every time to get them out.

2. Middle of the Night Paci Relocation - Poor Lil' B loves her paci. So much so that if she loses it in her crib in the middle of the night, she cries and cries until I go in there, locate it, and put it back in her mouth. This is normally not a problem, but lately she has been doing it more and more and it is making me think about calling the Paci Fairy to come and take them away. I do NOT want to see that day though. Talk about a Catch-22.

1. Remembering the Lovey - Both of the girls have a lovey. Miss H has a pink teddy bear blanket, Teb-teb, that absolutely has to go everywhere with her. She sleeps with it at night, it cuddles with her on the couch during movie time, and it rides with her in the car. Lil' B also has a brown bunny blanket, Bo-Bo, for her lovey. She has recently been demanding that it go everywhere with us as well. I cannot tell you how much time I spend everyday locating these loveys. I have gotten pretty good at keeping a mental note everytime I see one laying around, just so that I can remember when one of the girls inevitably comes crying for hers. But goodness help me if we ever forget one of these loveys at home. Like I said, not my favorite part of the job.

What is the least favorite part of your job, as a parent or otherwise?

A Biting Concern

Did you ever have the feeling that something was bothering your child? The past couple of weeks, Miss H has just not been herself. She has become more and more defiant, saying "NO!" with greater and greater frequency. She seems to have a chip on her shoulder and gets angry very easily.

At first, I chalked it up to The Move. Perhaps she was feeling my stress and reflecting that back onto me. Then I thought, maybe this is just a phase. She is four now and trying to exert more of her independence and control.

But then, it happened. She bit Lil' B on the finger during one of their daily scuffles. My sweet Miss H has never bitten anyone in her entire life. I didn't yell. I just looked at her and quietly said how disappointed I was in her. I asked her where she had learned to bite people and she told me, "My friend from school."

I sent her to her room for time out and consoled the still crying Lil' B. On the outside I was calm, but on the inside I was reeling. Our preschool expels children for biting. What if she did this to someone at school? Did she really learn this from her friend at school? Wait a minute. What if this friend was biting Miss H?

That night we attended the Spring Pageant at Miss H's school, so I took a moment to discuss this with her teacher. She told me that there had not been any biting incidents this year, but to tell Miss H that if someone bit her that she needed to tell the teachers.

Before bedtime, I snuggled Miss H and asked her if her friend had ever bitten her. She shook her head yes, and held up four fingers. "She bit you four times??" I asked. "What did you do?"

"Nothing. She kissed it better, gave me a hug, and told me she was sorry," Miss H replied. She even showed me a place on her arm where she had been bitten, although no physical mark remained.

I wanted to cry. Is this child biting my daughter and getting away with it? Is this why she has been getting so angry and lashing out lately? Maybe Miss H is making the whole thing up. My mind flashed to the scene in "A Christmas Story" when Ralphie tells his mother that he learned the "bad word" from one of his (innocent) friends. Is Miss H just telling me a story?

I reinforced with her that biting, hitting, and kicking are not acceptable behaviors. That if anyone ever hurt her, she needs to tell the teacher. I'm still not sure if it actually happened, but I can't take the chance that this is happening and going unaddressed. I also wanted her to know that she can talk to me about anything that was bothering her, no matter what it is.

I guess only time will tell.

Stressful days ahead

Life is busy and stressful right now. We are six weeks out from our move out of state and two weeks out from beginning our house hunting in earnest. Mr. Rose and I are looking at home listings daily and crunching the numbers on how much house we can really afford. We are having a hard time balancing what we need in a home and what we want, and the difference in price between them is staggering.

As much as I like to spend money, I am really a saver. I come from the philosophy of not spending more than you have and always keeping three to six months of expenses on hand in case of an emergency. My Dad even commented once that I probably still have my First Communion money in a piggy bank somewhere.

All this makes this process that much more stressful. I am extremely risk averse and I am afraid of biting off more than we can chew. Add to this the stress of moving our household nearly 1,000 miles away and dealing with the process of explaining everything to Miss H.

So, I am cranky.

That is what stress does to me, and it annoys me to no end. I hate being cranky. I hate how my being cranky affects my husband and my children.

And I realize that some things have to take a back seat to life. Things like the half sewn pair of pajama pants sitting next to my sewing machine. Things like blogging at the pace that I have been keeping up lately, which really isn't all that much.

So, the sewing machine is getting packed up, and Cultivating Rosebuds is going to be updated less frequently. You can expect to see a post from me once or maybe twice a week until I can get through the next few weeks. That said, if anyone is interested in guest posting, I would love to have you!

Finding peace in the sacrifice

She's crying. Why, oh why is she crying? She's only been asleep for 30 minutes. That is not enough of a nap for a 20 month old. I'll go in to check on her, lay her back down, and walk out.

There. She's quiet. Hold your breath so she doesn't wake up again. Shush the four year old who only wants a drink.

NO! NO! NO! NO! She CAN NOT be crying again. It's only been five minutes since the last time I went in there. I have things I need to be doing. Ugh. What is going on with this child? Maybe she's just done sleeping. I'll pick her up this time.

Rock, shhh, rock, shh, rock, shh.

She's falling back asleep. Don't look her in the eyes or she might wake up. Look at her sideways to see her little eyelids flittering closed.

Focus on the cross on the wall. The Cross. The symbol of the ultimate sacrifice. What have I sacrificed lately?

Look at that. She's asleep in my arms. We are rocking and I am getting sleepy. Feeling the soft warmth of her breath on my skin and I am drifting off.

Peace.

I guess she just needed her Mama. I guess I just needed her too. We cuddle and sleep for nearly 45 minutes. In the end, I sacrificed a few minutes of my day to help her rest, but really, it was no sacrifice at all.

Wise words from my Mom

I am, and always have been, a worrier. I get really stressed out about everything. When I became a mom, I did not know how much I was capable of worrying.

When we first brought Miss H home from the hospital, I worried that she wasn't eating enough. She was sent home from the NICU with specific instructions about how much she needed to be eating. I kept a chart of how many minutes she nursed, how many ounces she drank from her bottles, and how many wet and soiled diapers she had. When I wasn't sure of myself, I pulled out my copy of "A Nursing Mother's Companion".

As she grew, I worried about her sleeping habits and patterns. Was she sleeping enough and at the right times? Why wouldn't she sleep through the night? I charted her sleepy times and the times and lengths of her naps. When I wasn't sure of myself, I pulled out my copy of Dr. Sears' "Baby Sleep Book".

Over her four years I have worried about her health and development, and have routinely turned to a multitude of books for answers and help. My bookshelves are overflowing with books by doctors, nurses, and social workers.

A couple of weeks ago, I called my Mom. I was freaking out about Miss H not being able to hop on one leg. Not that she was injured, she just can't do it. My mom came back to me with the best advice about being a mother ever: throw the books away and just RELAX.

Now that is an interesting concept. Relax and trust that you know what is right for your children. Miss H is otherwise happy and healthy, why should it matter that she can't hop on one leg? Lil' B won't sleep for longer than an hour in the afternoon; maybe that is just her natural rhythm.

While it may be difficult for me to physically throw those books away, my Mom made a great point. How often do we as mothers question and second guess ourselves? How often do we compare our children to the children of others and wonder if our child is "normal?"

Trying to relax is now going to become my new goal thanks to that sage advice from my Mom. This year I am trying to plan my Mother's Day gift for her a little early because the month of April is going to be incredibly busy for us. I am terrible at picking out cards, but Tiny Prints is going to make choosing and sending Mother's Day cards easy-peasy. They have the cutest greeting cards for every kind of mom - from your Grandmother to your Mother-in-law.

Tiny Prints provides simple, modern and unique stationery from Fathers Day Cards to personalized greeting cards to thank you cards, business cards, and even custom wedding invitations or photo birth announcements. Offering exclusive designs from the nation’s top designers, easy card personalization, a powerful preview engine and top-notch customer service and paper quality, their designs have been lauded by numerous television networks, publications and celebrities. With Tiny Prints by your side commemorating every holiday and momentous occasion is a cinch! They offer perfect party invitations for every occasion and memorable personalized photo-gifts like notebooks, photo books and calendars to commemorate the event.





A big thank you to Tiny Prints for sponsoring this post and to Global Influence for providing the opportunity. I was compensated with a $50 gift from Tiny Prints in exchange for this post.

2011 Ultimate Blog Party - I'm late!

It’s here; it’s really here! I can’t believe it is time for The Ultimate Blog Party again. So much so, that I completely almost forgot (whoops!) If you are stopping by from the party, welcome!


I started Cultivating Rosebuds a little over a year ago as a way to maintain my sanity. I love being able to sit down at the computer and pour my heart out or relate a cute or funny story about my Rosebuds, Miss H (4) and Lil’ B (20 months.) My husband even pops in once in awhile to write about life with three women in the house.

What I love most about blogging is connecting with other mothers. I love being able to read a blog, nodding my head the whole time in agreement, the “I’ve been there” agreement. I’ve made friends all over the country through blogging, and that is why I am so excited about the Ultimate Blog Party.

With my blog, I am all about making connections and having a conversation. If you leave a comment for me, I try to respond back to you via email. (Is your email part of your google profile? No? It should be!) If you follow me on Twitter, talk to me and I will follow you back. A very wise blogging friend of mine once said that Blogging friends are made from reading blogs, but those friendships are developed on Twitter. (Not on twitter yet? You should be!)

So, I’m off to check out some of the other partiers through the Linky List at 5 Minutes for Mom. Leave me a comment and I’ll be sure to stop by your blog, too! Happy Partying!!